it felt strange sleeping in a place where you had existed for so long.
me lying there wondering how we had come so far from the time where
you loved me – and i staring up at the photo of you by the door feeling
like a stranger. an intruder staring into your blank eyes, finally
seeing a vision of hopelessness for the first time.
how sober time can make us…
unrecognisable you, staring down at me.
a glimpse of your past or my future – was i right to come?
Wind me up
Like a vine
Around you close.
Weave your limbs through me
And turn the sky a Technicolor grey.
Fill me with your milkshake–
So blue.
Sink like syrup into our gate
Break the lock, let no one in–
Climb into us
Our flat so warm
Our future now here
Our plans realized.
The other woman in your life has a sinister sense of humour.
Sometimes I lie awake at night and catch a glimpse of her making love to you as I sleep.
I travel to the other side of bed
Feeling sick that I can’t make you sweat like her. Your expression, dreamy and light
While I silently cry to an untitled track
That spells the story of my life…
The moonlight drips in.
How come I never heard this tune before?
I turn to wake you, yet you are cold and weak.
You–who think you, are stronger than I.
And I await you with a soaked towel for your head
and a kiss for a swollen tongue.
I lay in your gaff
While you fill prescriptions
Of parenting.
Soaked ashtrays were never
My story.
You found it easy to make love
In that storm
And I found you
Silent for once —
You looked holy.
You sank into Bulmers
As I cleaned the mess;
Staring desperately — knowing
This creation would one day
Be hers.
drunk butterfly 